Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
