I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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