Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
