She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
