I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
