I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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