if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize