Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
