Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
