You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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