I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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