i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just high enough for therapy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
