batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
