I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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