listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
