we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
