i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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