I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
