We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
