My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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