some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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