oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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