you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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