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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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