In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
