But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
