Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
