he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
