i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
