Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize