So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
why do cheetos always look like penises
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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