Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
