It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
