I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
