literally had 100 drinks last night.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
