i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
