Need sex. Gaining weight.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
