I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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