So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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