No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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