I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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