It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
