dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Everclear isn't food dammit
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
