Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
