he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
