Its about making memories worth repressing
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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