Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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