Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
