You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
