Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
