I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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