I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize