Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
