my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
