no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
