party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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