i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
