I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize