Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I stole a fireplace last night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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