nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
