No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize