I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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