She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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