Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
