i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
