i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
