I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
