She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
