just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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