we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
