omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
