Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
