i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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