you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
